The other day, while I was still in New York, I went by myself to 71 Irving to get Iced Coffee and a (banana chocolate, whyyyyy?) muffin. I stood looking around for a little table, and this cute guy looked at me in a - way - and were I normal or sane I would have been able to hold eye contact for more than .2 seconds and smile. Not even a seductive, goddess-of-the-earth, type smile. Just a normal friendly smile.
OOOHHHH no. that is just too hard for me. So, there were table right next to him, but some little idiot inside of me, I'll name her - Beatrice the Bonkers- said: No, that is right in line with the door, go somewhere more secluded for yourself. So I sat on the opposite side of the room. And my sitting locale was exactly on the other side of him with this old women's head smack in the line of eyesight. But before I sat down he looked at me again. So I knew I wasn't being crazy. But I WAS being crazy because I was acting like a skittish mouse! I mean, COME ON, BEATRICE!
So once I sat down and I literally was completely out of eyesight - I was mad at myself and Beatrice the Bonkers. "come on, beatrice, what the hell are you afraid of? Being nice? Looking friendly?" "Yes, No, Yes, No". "Whatever, Beatrice".
So, I sat there eating my muffin-top and noticed the cafe getting more and more crowded. Damn, If Only I had gotten here now, then I could have sat closer, or sat even, at his table! But alas. I was a lame, BtB possessed loony eating a disgusting muffin-top and trying to stare through a woman's graying head at this cute John Krasinski-esque man who was eyeing me (eyeing in a very normal, sheepish and endearing way).
At the same time I realized I was being stupid for a whole different reason. "Beatrice, just enjoy your coffee and your disgusting muffin-top and be the cool person you always think you are when you see cool girls in movies". Yea, right.
Anyway, I was sitting right next to where the difficult-to-make-drinks come out and people were congregating. And I spoke outloud, but softly, to myself: "You know what? I am going to move! Because... its too crowded"
So I moved here. That would be him behind the staircase. I sat directly behind him. Realizing it was buffoon-like. I took a picture. Which is also buffoon- like.
So there I sat, and it got more and more awk. He was finished with his computer and closed it and sat and kind of turned to me, and I turned to my banana muffin that I hated. And picked at it. "Door-CLoser! Door-Closer! Door-Closer!"
Then his stupid friends, girls, came in and sat with him. Then I left.
"Happpyyyy Saturday, Morning, Beatrice!"
