Truth?

Heyooo. I didn't really do it today, I tried to do nothing but I started to fall asleep. I probably got 45 seconds of REAL nothing in- besides weird falling-asleep-thoughts. And then I tried to do truth- so instead of trying to recall, I am going to take 3 big breaths now, and do my truth NOW.


What am I feeling?
stomach-ache. exhaustion (theme). headache (i have been having wine every night- :-/). overheated. tired. tired. my ears feel weird. i feel nervous.
I am nervous about all the things I still have to do. I am nervous that the girl who is subletting my apartment in a few days has not gotten back to me about her exact move-in day and ....

what is painful?
the idea that everything is going to crumble.

What story?
I am scared that this girl is going to scam me, for no reason (there is nothing for her to gain by screwing me over) but I am afraid that she is just going to drop off the face of the earth. I am afraid that I will be tired for the rest of my life, and that today's and this week's fatigue will ruin my life and make me irritable and depressed till the day I die.

Is this working. NO

What would work better: This girl should be getting back to me, but it is finals and she is in law school. I will figure it out. The worst that happens is they have to deal with my shit. I will get sleep. If I want sleep tonight, I can get it, I suggest I don't go out to dinner with a friend again- it drags the night on.

Ah- very nice.

Scumbag: Hello scumbag. The one who, despite only had 1.5 glasses of wine last night, has a headache this morning. The one who could have spent the morning writing part of her paper, but flounced around instead. The one who didn't exercise today, and the one who hasn't even found boxes yet for her move-out in two days (omg, i just had a an anxiety pang). I wish you compassion. I GIVE you compassion. may you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering. May you sleep well tonight.

<3 - Your Wholesome Twin



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